Independence Day
by melinda08
Summary: It's Independence Day, indeed, for Donna. But the last thing she feels like doing is celebrate. As a matter of fact, she felt like doing anything but celebrating. My 400th story!


**I tried to time my 400th story (!)_ for the 4th of July, but I am off a day. I hope you enjoy this and I dedicate this to Jessie and Sanda. Because of their passion for writing they've helped me get this far. I owe you both so much gratitude and thanks.**

Donna, worn, tired, exhausted from all of her marital difficulties, returned to Braddock, Texas, to settle something that apparently needed resolving, despite her best attempts to deny her reality.  
Her reality was that her marriage wasn't working for her, not now, and not for a long time. She would try to discuss issues with Ray, but those "discussions" would turn to heated words and wounded egos; soon the very place where they used to share so much love turned from a bedroom to a boardroom.  
On the drive back from California, all sorts of thoughts ran through her mind. It was funny how Donna had gotten to California. She'd just pulled out her map, closed her eyes, and pointed to the place she would go for her little "time out."  
Was it a coincidence that she'd picked California, home of Gary Ewing, Ray's brother? Destiny? Just the result of pure exhaustion and more than a few drinks?  
No matter how her selection came to be, once she'd made it, off to California she went for a few weeks' R&R.  
The first week she pretty much lived at the ocean. She's always been a country girl herself, damn proud to have been, actually. But for the first time in Donna's life, she could understand why people gravitated towards the ocean. There was something so meaningful, so hard to describe to an outsider, something so different than what she'd been used to for a long, long time, that albeit only briefly, Donna had actually considered giving up her life and packing up for CA.  
But ultimately, Donna knew that she couldn't give up her life in Texas. Yes, she'd visited Gary and Valene, but ultimately she knew she couldn't' stay. She'd worked too hard, struggled too many times, met too many obstacles and then not only faced them, but won them, to just give up her life for anyone.  
Not even for Ray Krebbs.  
00000  
It wouldn't be easy. Just the thought of facing her husband and saying those words that every married person alive, man or woman, feared most of hearing- I want a divorce- nearly broke her heart.  
But it was the only way.  
Time and time again she'd searched her heart, trying, looking for any reason to stay. And if her heart were Donna's soul's only judge, then of course, she would stay with Ray for the rest of her life.  
But there was more to Donna than just her heart. She was a woman, of course, with feelings and days of hating the world and her stomach cramped so badly that she just wanted to stay home, grab a blanket and a tub of ice cream and just watch hours of mindless television. What woman alive hadn't had those days?  
But this wasn't a "female" problem. It wasn't about love- she loved Ray and she knew-she knew- that without a doubt, he loved her.  
If only she could take the old 'it's not you, it's me' route.  
Yes, of course, there was more than a grain of truth to that, but still, she knew her husband deserved better than that. Donna herself deserved to be able to be strong enough and face her fears and stand by her decision, even if it were the hardest one she would ever have to make.  
This was the problem. There were so many hats Donna wore, and not just the ones of her husband's she'd wear-with nothing else- behind their closed doors.  
She was a wife. She was a friend. She was a relative. A confidante. A businessperson. A supporter of charities. A tax-payer. At times, if need be, a babysitter, counselor, a bar-tender and even a taxi driver. Not to mention the ugliest hat of all- she was the sister-in-law of JR Ewing.  
She saw all of these things, and it made her kind of proud how she managed to all those things and still stay sane.  
So why wouldn't- why couldn't- Ray see these things?  
Yes, they were of different worlds. Initially, that had been what had brought them together. But the glue of attraction slowly but surely had proven to be Elmer's glue, not the industrial type needed to preserve the matrimonial bond between a hard-headed woman and a stubborn man.  
They say that love was the answer.  
0000  
In this case, it more than just an answer. It was the great paradox of her life- she loved her husband, but she loved herself just a bit more.  
So maybe the fable-mongers were right. Love was the answer. But just as Columbus had seen that the world was not flat, that there was more out there, just how much more he would never have any idea even if he had lived a thousand lifetimes.  
As for Donna, she knew that she only one life to live. She owed it to herself to make it the life she wanted, needed, deserved.  
And the answer was as plain as the gold band on her left hand.  
She loved Ray. In some ways, she could live with that. But she didn't want a kind of love she could live with. She wanted the kind she couldn't live without.  
So she pulled up at the driveway of the home that she'd shared with Ray, Donna took a deep breath, inhaled deeply, and mentally prepared herself for what she would say to her husband.  
Stepping out of the car, it was even before she got to the doorway that Ray pulled up behind her in his truck, blocking her car. So literally, even if she wanted to turn around and think things through yet again, she couldn't.  
Ray got out of the truck just in time to grab her suitcase.  
He was smiling, laughing, obviously happy to see her.  
Yes, she did love herself just a bit more than she loved her husband. But at that moment, she'd hated herself more than she even hated JR, and that was saying quite a bit.  
"Ray, we have to talk..."  
00000  
**** This might work well as a one-shot. Sometimes, as in life, even the best stories don't get the happy endings. In other words, I may or may not continue it as I see fit best for the story I told.**


End file.
